Self-Determination Part One
“I can’t go to the clinic today. I’m hurting way too bad. Plus I don’t have anybody to watch my stuff.”
Camp-mate: “I’ll watch it and make sure everyone at least gets something.”
“I am not going to let you look at my leg. I really do appreciate everyone that helps me, but I am just too nervous. I will take care of it myself.” (Client who recently had their leg amputated)
“I just want to come home.” (Client looking to leave the rehab center they are at, and come back to living in the woods.)
“Do you have a tent I can have? I will be here one more week, and then I have to be out of here. I can’t afford the rent here any longer. I have been here over a year, but $800 a month takes almost all of my check for the month.”
“Hey (another client) told me you all were the ones I could talk to about getting into rehab. They said y’all helped them to do that.”
R.O.C. Member: “So Ashton, from the city’s office, just texted and said they should have an apartment ready for you tomorrow or the next day.”
Client: “Is it just for me, or is it for both me and my wife? Because there might be an issue since she doesn’t have a current green card, even though she has lived in the US for over 20 years.”
Client waking from a deep sleep: “Woah, no way! This bag of food is just what I needed! I can’t believe this! Am I dreaming right now? You all are awesome! Hey, I am sure you guys have a really hard job a lot of times. But what you’re doing matters! Remember to take time to take care of yourselves and do things that make you happy! That way you can keep having what it takes to keep coming back and doing what you’re doing every day.”
“I got to talk to my kids today, and they called me Mommy! I haven’t been called that for years! They also said they are proud of me. I have been clean for 4 months now. Once I am sober for a year, I want to become a recovery navigator. I am not going to do anything that gets me kicked out of here.” (Client currently in a residential recovery program.)
Self-Determination:
The process by which a person controls their own life.
Learning the lesson of respecting an individual’s right to self-determination is a lesson that must be humbly learned over and over when doing homeless outreach.
There is a constant temptation to believe in the illusion that we, the outreach workers, are the heroes, the saviors, the experts on someone’s life, and that we know what is best. Believing these are our roles leads to constant feelings of being hurt, being angry, and being severely disappointed when clients don’t do what we think they ought to do.
Our roles should instead be that of a helper, a supporter, and a servant. We aren’t the experts on other people’s lives. Our clients get to take on the roles of being their own heroes, their own saviors. They are the experts on their lives and know what is best for them. When we are operating within our proper roles, it is our primary job to continue to offer opportunities that may better our clients’ circumstances. The decision to either accept or decline those opportunities lies solely with the client. Does it take a lot of effort and energy from the outreach worker to bring about many of these opportunities? Yes, and when those opportunities are rejected, that can be difficult to wrestle with. By keeping the proper roles in perspective and continuing to be committed to offering more opportunities in the future can help. If we attempt to sustain our ability to do this work by relying on constant approval, acceptance, and praise, we will quit, give up, and burn out from the constant rejection.
We were able to gift these art supplies pictured below to our client, who is quoted above, who is currently in a residential recovery program. They were thankful and said that they were ready to get back to drawing again. It was very uplifting to the R.O.C. members who visited with them to see them doing so well and looking so healthy. While visiting and talking with them about their recovery journey thus far, they did not give any credit to the ROC members for saving them, or us being their heroes, or being the ones that influenced the decision for them to get sober. Instead, all of that created was given directly to themselves, and that is exactly as it should be. All the time of knowing them when they were still on the streets, we did our job of offering the opportunities. We also never told the client what they should or shouldn’t do. We simply reminded them of who they are and who they are capable of being. Everything else came about through their own decision-making and being self-determined to change their circumstances. A self-determined self is the strongest self that anyone can be.
The opportunities we offer are much like the pieces of paper that are in our client’s sketchpad. Not all of the pages that are sketched on will be keepers, but with each flip to a new page there will be another opportunity awaiting.
#ROCAndRoll
#ROCRetrospective
#SelfDetermination
