Exceptional

EXCEPTIONAL: much greater than usual, especially in skill, intelligence, quality, etc.

EXCEPTION: a person or thing that is excluded from a general statement or does not follow a rule.

Sometimes when trying to give those that comprise the R.O.C. a compliment on the work we do, someone will say:

“You all are doing an exceptional job! Keep up the good work!”

We recognize and appreciate the sentiment behind these compliments, but at times they can be challenging to believe and accept.

This challenge exists for a couple of reasons. For one, our good and our most well-intentioned best work isn’t enough. That’s a reality we realize and wrestle with on a consistent basis. The feelings associated with that wrestling often overpower any feelings of being exceptional. The wrestling, combined with these feelings that come with it, can lead to conflicts. We had one of those amongst ourselves last week. This conflict was rooted in the trauma of a senseless loss of one of our clients. Which then festered and led us to turn on each other. We began telling one another:

“You’re not doing enough.” 

“What you are doing isn’t good enough.”

“You need to do more of this or be better at that.”

After tensions eased, we all came to an agreement that we are all doing the most and the best that we can with what we have. But the overwhelming truth is that the circumstances surrounding the tragedies associated with homelessness are exceptionally greater than what we can completely address or prevent. It is our willingness to cooperate with one another that is our greatest strength in this never-ending wrestling match against these circumstances. All successful R.O.C. and Roll groups have had their conflicts and clashes. These can sometimes lead to a group’s most successful collections of works. There is hope, and some evidence suggests this could be true for us going forward.

Having who we are or the work we do labeled as exceptional is challenging to accept for a second reason. Many of us believe that the aid, care, and compassion that we provide to those experiencing homelessness in Hamilton County should be so commonplace and natural in our society that receiving the label of being exceptional would carry no weight when it came to caring for your neighbors in need.

We have had the privilege of having a few meetings with various community leaders. Some have flattered us by saying the R.O.C. is exceptional. They have asked us to explain what we feel brings about impactful success within the issue of homelessness? In response, we have told them that success is only attainable for us through adhering to our core values of being consistent, being compassionate, and seeking to make connections. We also believe that success and impact can be measured elsewhere within the overall issue of homelessness by how present those values are or are not with those claiming to be working to resolve homelessness.

It has been interesting to hear the follow-up responses that are given after we give this answer. Quickly, the responses are full of exceptions:

“I hear you on being consistent with these folks, but at some point, you just have to walk away after you’ve done all that you can.”

“I hear you on being compassionate, but at some point, you’ve got to still make it harder on people to make them change.”

“Now I think that, with compassion of course, there’s got to be some sort of a carrot and a stick approach with these people. Offer them a way back into society, but if they don’t take that opportunity, then there has to be a tougher approach then.”

“I hear you on making connections with people. But it seems to me in a lot of ways that some of these folks have the ultimate freedom. No bills. No responsibilities. Get to spend as much time as you want doing whatever you want. I would say in some ways I could see myself having a hard time giving all that freedom up.”

“I hear you on being consistent, but some of these folks seem to be too far gone to be able to function in society ever again.”

It is through these ill-conceived exceptions, and several others like them, that what we do and how we approach homelessness in comparison can be labeled as exceptional. This is because through our true utilization of Compassion, Consistency, and Connection, there is patience. There is kindness. There is a lack of boasting, envy, arrogance, and rudeness. There isn’t an insistence on people living the way that we think is the right way to live. There is no resentment. There is no rejoicing in wrongdoings. There is rejoicing when truth is shared or given. All things are borne. All things can be believed. All things can be hoped for. All things can be endured. 

THIS is LOVE without exception. And that is how we like to R.O.C. and ROLL!