Trenches Of Time

“I was hoping you all would be coming today. I need your help with something. I am ready to get off fentanyl. Can you help me do that?”

Two phone calls later

One frantic 15-minute search to find them again, after having to come back for them later.

One interrupted and stopped drug deal for that last score of fentanyl before rehab.

Six packs of cigarettes were purchased and stockpiled for the journey ahead.

One tear-filled goodbye to their dog.

One sincere hug and kiss with their partner.

One brutal fight with withdrawal symptoms and sickness.

One 18-minute drive to the rehab facility.

One picture of them holding their dog, which was given to us to take back to their partner at their encampment.

One attempt to go through the wrong entrance of the rehab facility. 

One short walk around the facility gave a chance to smoke one cigarette to calm the nerves a bit.

One retelling of a lifelong history of drug use, loss, trauma, and a deep emotional desire to be a part of their two grandchildren’s lives.

All within the timeframe of an hour and a half, one decision was made and acted upon that led to the end of a 32-year-long stint of drug use and the beginning of their first-ever stint in a drug rehabilitation program! A decision and action that will hopefully lead to countless days in their future of chasing all the great things that their life has to offer them, instead of chasing the next high.

A massive, long-lasting battle fought and won in the trenches of homeless outreach. This seemingly spur-of-the-moment decision was an accumulation of five years’ worth of countless engagements, opportunities being offered, encouragement being given, resources being shared, and trust being built. 

Sometimes homeless outreach workers get referred to as front-line workers, but we believe it’s more fitting to be defined as trench-line workers. The real, true work that we get to do is fought in the deeper places. The places that dwell and are roughly scraped out beneath the front lines. The battles fought here are dirty, dark, raw, heavily barricaded, and a slow-moving slug fest. Being in these places as an outreach worker can really drag you down. You feel as though you’re stuck in a position where you don’t get to see over the sides of the trench enough. Where you can see the victories that are being won outside of the trench. Or you feel as though you don’t possess the force needed to establish a good footing.

These hard-fought victories, like the one we got to play a part in, seem to be few and far between. But when those victories happen, shockwaves of undeniable uplifting power surge. At the R.O.C., while we may each attribute that power to different sources, we all roll with and ride those waves high above the trench walls!

After dropping the client off at rehab, one R.O.C. star played the song that he and his daughters have been jamming to for the last week:

“I’VE GOT A RIVER OF LIFE FLOWING OUT OF ME;

IT MAKES THE LAME TO WALK AND THE BLIND TO SEE.

IT OPENS PRISON DOORS, SETS THE CAPTIVES FREE.

I’VE GOT A RIVER OF LIFE FLOWING OUT OF ME. 

SPRING UP, O WELL, WITHIN MY SOUL!

SPRING UP, O WELL, AND MAKE ME WHOLE!

SPRING UP, O WELL, AND GIVE TO ME

THAT LIFE ABUNDANTLY.”

The other R.O.C. star in the van then read a poem that has been weighing on their soul:

“Beneath the brittle surface,

The vain, self-interested, clinging love,

The maddening longing,

Which only obscures what lies below,

There is a silently flowing river:

A river of compassion, bowels of mercy,

A feeling of the other's pain,

Flowing into a vast, vast ocean of sorrow.

It is the sorrow of a great funeral:

The death of sensual self-love.

Although it is a sorrow,

One enters willingly, with joy,

For there is tenderness in its pain.

And at last, in this sorrow,

There is perfect freedom.

This is the love that never dies, never fails:

A proof of immortality.

This is the pain that the everlasting Way

Embraces willingly, sharing our pain.

This is the cross that He asks us to bear.

This is the death that He asks us to die.

And at last, in this death,

There is perfect peace.”

And lastly, a banner outside the rehab center read:

“Dear Addiction, You may have ruined my past, hurt my present, but there is no way I am letting you get to my future.”

So tomorrow, it is back into the trenches we go, and we will go there, and we will be there for whatever amount of time is needed for more victories to be won! 

The Trenches are worth the Triumphs for every, and for all of Time!

#ROCAndRoll

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